canely poo

canel says:
*lolyhh
*jam pooo
je suis jam. says:
*yes can poo

tea and toast

Mrs Awan: ...complimentary good such as tea and biscuits
Harry b: i love tea and biscuits
(class keeps talking about tea and biscuits)
Mrs Awan: mmm you know whats really nice, dipping toast in it

(  :| faces fill the room )

Me: what about coffee and biscuits
Someone: nah in america they have like muffins innit
Allie: haha dip your muffin in



(something like thatt)

BEEF

Mr P: Rob give a slap will you
*Rob slaps Mehmet - mehmet hits back - rob hits back - mehmet hits back - they both stand up - hitting continues*

Mr P: WOAH GUYS CALM IT CALM IT!  Wow, that actually nearly got out of hand.

Viagra

Talking about mr Ofanos....

Allie: well he was off for one week
Me: I thought you were going to say he was off for one of his organs, I was gunna say not wonder hes still nto back at school
Allie: nah its ok they gave him a blue pill for that

God bless Jesus

Erol Kucuk : 'ya can tekkk aweyyyy maaa hoodiiii bu' yaaa cannae' tekkk aweeyyyy maa fridumm'

The Marshmellow Chronicles:Part 2, get out of my toilet

Canel

just now iwent down to the loo

19:02Jasmine

OMG i went loo just now too

how spookey

19:02Canel

and someone was in there so i knocked and shouted whos in my toilet

lol

loooL

my mum was like its me

and i shouted get out go on get out of my toilet

19:02Jasmine

LOOOL

19:03Canel

then wen she finally came out i dragged her out and forced her into the living room an said don't you ever use my toilet ever again you

thats it

dutty wine.

Jasmine (me) : you have a really confident face




Allie: sir we should have a leaving party!
Dr Miller: and sarah could do the dutty wine

Stitch and sew....

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/video/video.php?v=47553601192

#teensdonttweet

On twitter a while back.

If Teens don't tweet the who are the 1,178,169 people following Pete Wentz?

Random Cat chob

Mr Paul: Nick what are you doing?

Nick D: well i used to hold my my pen liek this but now im trying to hold it properly so im practising my alphabet
(holds up sheet with alphabet written out a few times in capitals and lower case)

Mr P: In all my years of teaching I have never had a student practising writing their alphabet



(Talking about nick diplos and his alphabet [see above] and then my brother mensioned george worton for some reason and then said this out of the blue)
Nick: George Wortons not a bad looking boy you know

Jasmine: What?

Nick: Yeah man, I'd bum him for loose change!




mel[LY] says:
CHOB CHOB CHOB!
Becca says:
CHOB
Becca says:
chob to the chop
- mel[LY] says:
chop to teh chob
- mel[LY] says:
do the chob chop
- mel[LY] says:
do teh chop chob bop!

1 problem canel, he cant text back

Tom box : lol im on the bus cant text x

LOVE LAND - CHINA

http://www.nowpublic.com/strange/love-land-chinas-new-sexually-explicit-theme-park-shut-down

so funny. came across this whilst doing business studies research on our topic of china and we were searching health.

measures and scales.

Mr Paul: When we do self report measures whats the scale we measure it on?
Patrick PJ: Limescale!

make good first impressions....

Becca says:
whe i went to the induction at fortismere
Becca says:
i was really blahh like in ur face
Becca says:
and also i sed i have a hygeien problem
Becca says:
but then canel corrected their thoughts
Becca says:
and told them like in a god way

Swine Flu (warning may be of bad taste)

Becca says:
lool i might get a face ,ask for the swine flu

*MiMiMi - nobodyputsbabyinthecorner says:
ur bros already given it to u

*MiMiMi - nobodyputsbabyinthecorner says:
n u gave it to me

Becca says:
the swine !

*MiMiMi - nobodyputsbabyinthecorner says:
lmao

*MiMiMi - nobodyputsbabyinthecorner says:
bad joke of the year award

your bombs ready

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
lol sorry i wa sgetting smoothie

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
n my brother starte dbeing sexist

Canel says:
really

Canel says:
what did he say

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
well i skipped in to teh kicthed as he went in to use teh microwave for soup i think

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
n he was liek ur not allowed to dance n i was liek yes i am

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
n he goes no ur not and your not allowed to vote or speak either

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
and i was like omg u racist pig

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
n he was liek oh whens it due n i wa slike

Canel says:
racist haha

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
u just prooving mypoint

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
sexist lol

Canel says:
omg nick is racist

Canel says:
i cant believe this

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
lol

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
now im laughing

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
im scraed to go back down incase im racially abused

Canel says:
loool

Canel says:
haha

Canel says:
by ur brother

Canel says:
literally u couldnt acuse a worse urpose of racially abusing u

Canel says:
he is the absolute closest to ur race than anyone else in the world

Canel says:
wwho has and will ever live

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
lool

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
i went down n the microwave was beeping

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
n i said your bombs ready

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
n to his friend on cod he said

Canel says:
haaa

Canel says:
omhg i m loling

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
costas your rubbish

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
(costats being a different race of course)

Mr Paul / Mr Blobby

this shit is just wrong
but lesson today was funny :D

Tv just gets better and better

Becca says:
OMG the sperm program is on!:-O

baby gap hoody for baby nel

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
which one

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
gap?

Canel says:
yeh baby gap

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
baby gap?

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
its from baby gap

Jam Yo Hype! (L)xx says:
loool

Canel says:
haha

Canel says:
no i meant, yeh baby, gap

Canel says:
but omg what a quotye for the quote bank

Canel says:
and fyi its actually mens

canel loves nick... blates.

canel cucuk : he enriched my life


nick diplos: i am the resurection of jesus and mohammed combined

Psychology revision songs

to the tune of Ass2Ass (from skins sexxbombz tv show) - karen mclair

Pavlov and his dog
(He classicly conditioned)
Pavlov and his dog
(He did it wiith a bell)
Pavlov and his dog
(He stoped the salivation)
Pavlov and his dog




to the tune of rim lickin from the same show on skins (freddies episode)

N-Dibbin, baby!
Was a crazy kid!
Killing all the kids
He thought his dad was a dick
N-Dibbin had to go to therapy
and his clinical case supported Freuds theory.


Both by Antony Gavas and Jasmine Meaden et al. (2009)

Canel says the funniest things

Jasmine says... wow. says:
i wanna learn all the britney dances

Canel says:
sameeee

Canel says:
expecially im a cave 4 u

can you count cucumber?

mr Paul: 1 2 3 5 4

(on the bus some gangster kids of african origin [PCnallthaaat] were talking about a sandwhich)
boy1: and in da sanwich ye was lyk dis massive chikun yeahh, n den der was cheese like and oh dat round green thing innit, ahh y'kno
boy2: lettis?
boy1: nah na not dat its like round innit
boy2: yeah lettis
boy1: naww mann round yeah lyk small
boy3: coucumba?
boy1: aww yeah man dats it! i knou dat! i knou dat!
boy3: how cud u forget what coucumba is man
boy2: innit
boy1: na nah i knou man i just lyk y'kno lyk forgot innit. naww shut up bruvs

Women are so emotional...

Olivia m-r: Olivia is: annoyed :D

more pictures :)

Take a picture, it lasts longer

Quotes so far (myspace transfer)...

(in english lang while reading out story ideas)
canel k:Thats like in Spiderman!
everbody: (silence)(laughter)

miss pitara: Reno why are you making these unhuman like faces? Go open a window!

(i get foundation on the paper after laughing alot at somehing)
Jasmine m: errr whats that?
canel k: its your face!

christa k: err it smells funny in here
canel k : ohh it smells like my house!

adrian s: cya tommorow
michael h: c ya bbe have a gd sleep lol
adrian s: yeh :D i am so tierd :D
jasmine m: micky did u just call adrian babe lool :|

jasmine m: is that your sister or your cusin?
canel k : who?
jasmine m: hitting you? >>>>
canel k: haha loooool does it look like a real human

oxana z: jasmine, your fucked up
jasmine m: no im not. im fucked down.

miss ali: now where going to look at one off the big questions for the cosmological argument (reads questions)
canel k: thats a big question isnt it?

ben a: im going clubbing
(looool well i found the idea of that hilarious)

canel k: hali hali hal mali mali mal... i think we should introduce jack to arabic pop

jasmine m: YO DUDE!
canel k: do you know what that means
jasmine m: yer
canel k: its canel penis foreskin

jasmine m: give me your sisters postcode so i can search it on google earth
canel k : here (gives postcode)
jamine m: she lives in nice a field

canel k: what you been up to today
jasmine m: not much comp tv garden you
canel k: oh how long did it take to get there
jasmine m: like a minute lol
canel k: oh is it just down the road then
jasmine m: no its like in this room then down the stairs round the corner out then through the kitchen and out the back door
canel k: ohhhh i thought they were places like in the lil villiage.

miss pittara: your a retard

miss morgan: and while your on the toilet i want you to think of a sentence using semi colons

Jack g: sorry im late miss i had an orthodontist appointment

maddy m: imagine if tehy said ohh froggy froggy like how tribe people say ohh hagi hagi

maddy m: if boys have testicles why dont girls have breasticles?

becca a: i dreamt my grandad was sleeping with the spice girls
maddy m: how did you know
becca a: because i could hear it
jasmine m: what like a zig a zig AHHHHH!

miss pittara: what do you notice about these to lines?
class: they rhyme
miss pittara: No. They sound the same! Gosh, guys your year 10, you should know this by now!

miss hodgekinson: So ruby what colour is concentrated urine?
ruby d: erm....pink?

jasmine m: just coz they wear black and white socks doesnt make them a hoe
becca a: but how do they get the money for 2 pairs of socks?

someone: so miss did you say helen of troy was kidnapped?
miss pittara: not kidnapped. shes not a child

(a long day after having finished an after school english revison class some of us ( jasmine canel karen sophie jack george and nick) decide to have an ermm 'cooling down' period where we fight and wrsetle each other in the english corridor)
miss morgan: what are you doing?
all: were fighting each other to see who can win in a fight miss
miss morgan: well can you go and kill each other somewhere else( looking rather disturbed)
(we start to move away, making it only as far as down the stairs, as the convo beggings again)
all girl: nick i recon we could all take you down if we all grouped togetehr
nick: nah you couldnt i could smash you all (laughs)
girls: no we would, i recon if we battled it out with no limits we would take you down somehow. haha look were the only ones left in skl
someone else: yer we shold stay after skl and play games and stuff liek and hide and seek haha it would be soo unny... but seriously were like the only ones in skl
nick: omg we could do like a fight to the death or something and see who wins... imagine if we did that a fight to death it would be well funny
(mt ghadvi walks passed giving a wierd look)
george: yer i recon nick would would win
girls: nah we could beat him
nick: no id win i wouldnt be affraid to kill you, you wouldnt kill me
girls: no we wouldnt we would be violent and like smash your head against a lockr and spin u around and through u out of the window
boys: thrugh us out of the window? imagne that what are you stupid? do you think we would just stand there and let you do that hahaha!

canel k: (winy voice) no dont brush my hair your taking away all my negative electrons.

jamine m: i mean if someone taught me how to make the universe i could do it too

^^^^(after the above)
canel k: jamine well done jamine haha
jasmine m :jamine?
caneel k: taht should be anotehr one
jasmine m: nice loool
canel k: jamine cant spell her name
jasmine m : omg looool (as you can see i got it right this time)

(the triple science dudes waiting to be let out of science)
mr kashani: whos playing with those switches?
samuel s: me sir
mr kashani: well if u wanna play play down there (points randomly at his penis)
becca a: HE WOULD BUT YOU WONT LET HIM GO!

kaya s: anyway how is malika?
jasmine m: shes good was ill but now good
kaya s: what happened to her and she was ill?
jasmine m: nothing happened she just had a cold lol
kaya s: the way you wrote it i thought she got drive byed or something lmao

becca a : URGENT! what are all the primary colours???

jasmine m & canel k: (singing) were taking our pe kits home! were taking our pe kits home! WOOO WOOO WOOO!


Canel k: well it doesnt have like material covering the feet unfotunatley nor does it have mittens or a hood which were the draw backs but other than that its exactly like a baby grow
(draws picture of a baby grow)
and i also found something out. i can put my right leg behind my head but i cant do the same with my left... how strange

canel k: my mum just gave me a hot chocolate and asked whether i wanted yellow or pink marshmellows and i said that i wanted it to the ratio 2:1 pink marshmellows
jasmine m: loooooooool
canel k: so she dopped it in like that and then she only put like 6 so i was like is that it do you think im fat
jasmine m: loool
canel k: so she put one more lot in so i was happy then she picked up some and it was 2 yellows and 2 pinks and dropped it in and i was like well thats not in the 2:1 ratio now is it take it out and eat it so she took it out and ate it
jasmine m: loooool
canel k: and i was like mum i could have eaten that but clearly you think im fat

maddy m: if you get in teh car and stay in there until we get over there and then take pictures you dont have to pay me the pound
karen w: ok well are you coming or not
jasmine m & maddy m: yer u have to be in it first
(kaz gets in it we walk over)
jasmine m:sit in it
karen w: but i cant fi.....
jasmine m: just sit in it or you have to pay the pound
maddy m: go on
(photos are taken see my random folder)

karen w: omg look how did she fit in to her shoes?!

(maddy is easting a beef sandwhich at lunch)
karen w: you know beef where does it come from?
(jas madz and nels give her wierd looks)
canel k: how do you not know that (laughing)
you know where pork and chicken comes from so why not beef?
karen w: well i never really thought about it
maddy m: it coes from a cow
karen w: i only thought dairy stuff comes from cows!!
jasmine m: oh my god karen how can you not know that??
(maddy giggling away)
canel k: well i suppose ive never really thought about where beef comes from
karen w: exactly!
maddy m: you guys are wierd beef comes from cows!

canel k: yer coz his fiance is studying here well in dundee
jasmine m: yer coz thats near loool isnt that in germany??

becca a: god is unisex

George f: the kingdom of the daddy long legs

Pippa c: (speaking in spanish) do you have any animals in your house?
spanish man aka Victor: una hermana (a sister in english)

canel k: was it canary wolf i thought it was a statue? what is it again?

canel k: i fancy some yoghurt have you had dins yet?
jasmine m: nah my mums not cooking. yoghurt beer?
canel k: beer? i love yoghurt frink in the summer tho but yoghurt beer what the hell is that
jasmin m: you sed it to me the other day. you were looking in your fridge for ideas
for me of what to eat n u sed yoghurt beer
canel k: lool lol we always have the same things. still have yoghurt and beer lool
jasmine m: ohhhhhh loooooooooooooooooool

jasmine m: what was that show called
canel k: the cranberrys or something
jasminem : thats a fruit looool can that go in my blog
canel k: lets just remember what the family name is. somethings berrys
jasmine: i really dont remember wasnt the girl called eliza. Thornburry. :D HAHA i own.
canel k: ye the thornburry what was it called tho the show
jasmine: cranberrys HAHA
canel k: dont laugh i was close

joanna m: you know the shops on the corner near my house, the other day i called them the kwicky mart

becca a: OH MY GOD! new tissues!!!

Mr Monroe: look (touched canels forhead) not a drop of sweat from running!(dabing his fingure)

Canel k: Ill let you look when i take it off.

adrian s: why arnt they called the space girls?
george f: because there not from space

Elizabeth Pesci: If god came down and touched you and said" im guna save you" you would be scared, i would be!

Canel k :I love that sound
Christa k: of what?
Canel k: of prayers

Our Song (one of many)....
Jasmine m: (clapping) canel is a tramp canel is a tramp...
amelia p: (really high and low voics alternating) canel is a tramp canel is a tramp...
canel k: 37p which i found on the floor, 37p which i found on the floor... (tune to aint no mountain high enough) (shaking money in hand)
(come in one by one continueing oerlapping each other rounds the lot ect ect)

someone: miss why have you put so much lipgloss on?
miss pitara: i eat it! i just eat it!

(me and malika laghing histerically)
ben a: your hi
malika a: i know iv talked to too many people
jasmine m: youve only talked too me

christa k: its like the big bang, didnt that cause suffering for the dinosaurs?

yr 11 we girls: oh joanna what happened to your arm?
joanna m: oh i fell down a clif when i was sky diving
(shocked faces)

becca a: its because i have a delicious brain

miss pitara: nick if you dont know who homer is googoo him

katy f: wait that doesnt make sense i just lost 10 inches in like a minute, ill try again...
jasmine m : yer lol
katy f: omg i was measuring from the wrong end
(histerics)
jasmine m: new weight loss programme haha
(it was something like that laughing too much to remember properly there was also the painting of the dog with visor/horse with mussle too small/shark on tree with ladybird on branch with ribbion tied around it. lool lets not go there)

yr7/8 boy: are you harry potter?
amelia p: yes
yr7/8 boy: are you single?
amelia p: yes
yr7/8 boy: can i have your number!
amelia p: no sorry!
(later)
amelia p: like OH MY GOD NOOO!! HE WAS LIKE 5!

(playing game like red or blue.. blue!)
becca a: me or you?
canel k: you
(later)
canel k: me or you?
becca a: ME!

miss rodrigez: if open is ouvre who can tell me what close is?
george f: clouvre?

canel k: (wispering over amelias shoulder) mildred hubble

becca a and canel k: (high pitched wisper, peering in to miss hodgekinsons science class) awwwkward.

becca a: (high pitch wisper over my shoulder) healthy
jasmine m: (high pitch wisper over beccas shoulder) fatty foods

jasmine m: hello harry!

amelia p: No i cant hurry along because i have pumpkin on my foot!

canel k: you know i think i might put some lipstick on for a change

amelia p: (turns around) Are you fuck-ing jok-ing me?!

amelia p: lunch
jasmine m: what?
amelia p: your lunch (goes to hand me a bag)
jasmine m: thats not my lunch thats a top
amelia p: ohh i thought it was a bit squigy

canel k: (in english speech) i am the resurection of jesus

becca a and jasmine m: "new rave" and "laser"

oxana z: (to me) now, would you happen to know anything about the 329?

canel k: what is meant by evil? when i attack...

nick m: are all terrorists bombers?

becca a: ill look more like a woman if i shave my hair off

amelia p: (russian accent) premium russian vodka

becca a: (to erol) well done you were really good. you should have been jesus
omar (jesus): (taps beccas arm) hi u alright (evil stare)
becca a: oh ye erm you were really good


canel k: (while hugging me still after like a minute when iv been waiting for her to let go) [looks at someone] she wont let go.

amelia p: hello im clamydia more

canel k and jasmine m: chicken shed on friday yeh?

canel k: this is a picture of my brother 2 weeks ago

joanna m: (about prom) im going to go in a bunjy rabbit suit

mr tesfa (wierd maths cover): George, ha what a name.

sophie m: So gcse or piano
george f: ok thanks you just cleared that up for me (walks away to go to piano)

canel k: (to george) is your brother still biodegradeable

katy f: i mean the grey hair just totally tops it off. i want her bad.

(at like 10:45am after english mock)
amelia p: becca what are you doing now? why dont you come enfield?
becca a: i cant i have my tutor
jasmine m: yer like at 4
becca a: its at 5 actually but i need time to like you know eat

canel k: which one should i get?
jasmine m: buy both
canel k: ok one of you be my good concious and other one be bad
jasmine me: buy both of us galaxy and raisins you know you want to
becca a: yes get both or they will bully me back on the shelf
canel k: becca your supposed to be the good concious
becca a: what do you expect this is me and food here!
jasmine m: bully me back on the shelf?

becca a: pow mutha fucka!

jasmine m: once you have a hot sausage your lifes sorted really (lol good day love you turkey :] )

jasmine m: haha boney
becca a: hey its not my fault i have a boner

adrian s: george say si pu over and over really fast
geroge f: sipusipusipusipusipusipu....

canel k: i have an idea shall we save them all till the end of the year and pull them all out

(during a group hug)
caroline m: whos licking my neck
maryann s: im going down

owen b: i want one of those ball bashers

karen w: i feel pregnant
maddy m: how can you feel pregnant
karen w: i dunno i just feel all like errghh y'know
canel k: have you ever been pregnant
karen w: no but..
canel k: wel how can you know what its liek to be pregnant then
maddy m: have you had sex?
karen w: no
maddy m and canel k: how can you be pregnant then?
karen w: i dunno erm you know like that thing whats it called, IVF!
canel k: and what so u had IVF just sitting down in ur chair like this (impression of sitting straght n still)

canel k: your dads organic

rebecca a: Im going to run the london marathon

zoe s: ah this feels good

zoe s: (to mr otchere) well sir none of the other teachers tell us to move and besides its not like your a figure of authority.

harry b: dirty little slut.

harry b: im important

malika a: the big shot of the bank (that will never get old)

rebecca a: (about my brother :| ) hes my love child

sophie m's mum: (to sophie about her top of ear piercing) you look like a lesbian

canel k:(to jasmine) your so old school with xp
jasmine m: (to canel) yerr mann! (to becca) do you have vista or xp?
becca a: oh i dunno what is it?
jamine m: computer sofware
becca a: huh
jasmine m: you know miscrosoft?
becca a: ohhh no i dont i have Dell
(canel k & jasmine laughing)
becca a: Ohh actully I have microsoft word.

becca a: opps sorry i didnt see you
jasmine m: how could you not see me
becca a: well i did see you but meh

sultan b: did you dye your hair brown or brunette?

Hiva: (about her chewinggum that Laurel ended up eating after a bit debate) atleast it went to a good cause

(talking of things to eat on the train)
canel k: i fancy getting jelly babies
hiva: you know what i like, i like fish.

canel k: oh and nick i nneed to talk to you later
nick d: about what
canel k: i cant really talk now
nick d: no just tell me
canel k: no not now later
becca a: not now dear, in bed dear!

becca a: well thats korma for you
jasmine m and canel k: dont you mean karma?

(karen, sophie, malika and becca were in maths having a chat.)
karen w: this feels well nice
sophie m: what does
karen w: well look, putting a pen underneath your foot in your shoe is well comfy, and gets rid of all your itches
beccaa: you are such a weirdo
malika a: well thats her .
karen w: try it.(gives pen to becca)
becca a: no!
(karen puts pen back in her shoe.
at lunch the pen sitatuion came up again)
becca a: karen is so weird. in maths she put a pen in her shoe saying it was comfy and relieved the itches.
zoe s: what the fuck!
karen w: loook ill show you but it really does
(gets a pen out and puts in foot.)
karen w: heyy!! look becca you have a go!
becca a: okay.
(becca then throws the pen in the bin.)
karen w: but that pen is maddys not mine!!
(maddy then lost her ring.)
karen w: becca come on where have you put it.
becca a: maybe you put it in your foot!

canel k: (about a greek king in antigone film) he looks like god

mr ghadvi: the trouble with bananas is they keep on repeating themself the trouble with bananas is they keep on repeating themself the trouble with bananas is they keep on repeating themself the trouble with bananas is they keep on repeating themself

canel k: when i was little i always thought it was with a b like bagina

zoe s: oooooooh boobs

Miss Pitara: well they used to take the ( makes click noise with her mouth) and dump it in the streets and then a man had a job to come a collect all the (click) and would dump it 6 stadiums, which is how they measured in those times, outside the citadel walls.
Nick D: but miss i dont understand what your talking about
Miss Pitara: You know. The shit.

zoe s/ becca a/ jasmine m: I wouldn't go in there if i were you (6th form toilets)
6th form guy pulls funny face goes in and then comes out
6th form guy: what?
zoe s : oh didnt you see?

jasmine m/ canel k/ zoe s/ becca a: "Nu Rave" Wave, Round and Down. "Nu Rave" Wave, Round and Down."Nu Rave" Wave, Round and Down."Nu Rave" Wave, Round and Down. "LASER" "LASER" (repeated)

canel k : "Nu Rave" Wave, Round and Down. "RAZOR"
jamine m: Razor?

jasmine m/ jack g: (to the tune of "tuning in"- Hadouken!)
cit-a-del cit-a-del cita citadel, cita cit cita cita citadel cit cita cita del
so im sitting in my anderon, with my hetaera and my boy
ive got the flute girl playing tunes. we have orgys i enjoy.

jack g: well women had to be prostitues
laurel b: no they didnt
jack g: well yer or they wouldnt have any fun

Nick d: (to george) technically i could molester you

(abut when older men would molester boys with the up down method haha)
olivia i: well miss i know the boys had to be under 16 but what was teh youngest?
miss pitara: erm probably about 12 - 13
nick d: thats alright then

george f: ouch why are you hitting me for
adrian s: im not im doing the thriller dance

george f: there's no library in the toilet

miss goddard: it wasnt funny in year 7, and its not funny now.

ben a and adam s: youve really pushed the boat out this time. youve really spilt the milk

jasmine m: malika nudge her
malika a: whats her name again
jasmine m: jess
malika a: ok ohhim scared
jasmine m: just do it
(malika pokes jess)
malika a: hi
jess r: hi
(malika turns back to me)
jasmine m: what the fuck was that?
Malika a : i said hi
jasmine m: well yer you were ment to introduce urself and ask questions. anyway haha you poked her.

george f: i have 3 toes..

(in yr7 on yr6 induction day)
yr6: where are we going next
lauren h: miss goddard (next teacher is wispered down teline so they all here)
yr6: is she nice
(me and lauren exchange glances)
jasmine: erm not really shes a bit of a bitch
another yr6 aka miss goddaards daughter: (after hearing the teacher) Thats my mum :D
jasmine m: ahhh shit.

becca a: sometimes i go to the toilet just for the fun of it

canel k: im like a fish.

hiva: I like Hugh Grant

rebecca a: my grandad got me this money shoe

rebecca a: my mum wears a hair net when doing the cooking

rebecca a: *american accent* oh mr clutterham is such a dreamboat

canel k: sir are you a doctor?
mr dhillon: i can be why
canel k: wel i have this really bad tummy ache n i feel sick like my stomache is eating its self
mr dhillon: have you been to a number 2?
canel k: omg sir can we plaese change the subject now

Jasmine m: ohh becca messages from miss oon hey?
zoe s: ohhh something going on between you two is there?
becca a: its about coursework
canel k: yeah i have her number too.
zoe s: C.W
jasmine m: that could stand for anything
Becca a: cunt wax

becca a: im never pulling a plastic bag ever again!

george free: no coz if theres too much blood in my alcohol...

becca a: No No No! I just don't want it near me. It's not food time anymore.

Zoe s: Im brushing my air.

Canel k: OMG wheres my phone?
Jasmine M: your on the phone.

Becca A: OMG you wont have your fouzy!!
Jasmine M & Zoe Saunders: whats a fourzy?
Becca A: you know like you elevenzy and fourzy. You have it everyday!
Jasmine & Zoe: No we don't you wierdo.
Becca A: Im not wierd

Becca A: My stomaches empty its just acid.
Karen W: No its not tehres organs
Becca A: In your stomache?

Nick D: I hate to have a big ego.

Patrick P: A penis is a tool, My belt is a tie.

Zoe S: I need a wee
Patrick P: I have a wii

Patrick P: My hair wax smells like chocolate

Zoe S: Oh no who has a proper camera i have no flash!
Patrick P: I have a flash, a flash of my breast

Kaya S: grodon?? isnt that the prime minister out of lord of the rings

Kaya S: I had to sit down with my sister today and explain to her what a clit was because my pussy arse parents wouldnt do it. Worst experience EVER. You should have seen her face. and i didnt even know what to do. i just said "it looks like a bean".

Canel K: WILL I RECIEVE 100% OF THE CONPENSATION!!!!

jasmine m: the jenkin goes in to the tandori

zoe s: he finds it hard to do everyday jobs such as masturbating his creases

some woman in enfield town: how old are you two crazy kids
zoe s:16
some woman in enfield town: ok safe. use a condom

jay zie: boonani jenkin and sweep.

bloke in car: (8) VAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRRRIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!(8)

jasmine m: ohh like catherina zeta jones and whats his face!
abena d: michael douglas? Ohh hes cute!!

(in high barnet)
Jasmine m: (looking on the bus map) well we must be here in muswell hill

(in a debate about if eating fish eggs is discusting)
nick d: yeah but you eat bird eggs
sophie i: no i dont
george f and nick d: haha yeah normal eggs deh

becca a: nee wah tusha nay

zoe s: OMG im itchy in the middle! no not that in the middle down here *points at knees*

canel k: TEA!

(in psychology watching a video of a bald man but the sound wasnt working)
Jasmine m: he looks like an egg
(sound starts working)
man on video: humpty dumpty ssat on the wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall...

jasmine m & antony g: coz ii waz waisted on bailiez like innit, strawberry edition!

Jasmine m & rebecca a: (sings) i kissed matt gordon and i liked it, the taste of his geeky glasses, i kissed matt gordon just to try it, i hope his lil sis dont mind it. it felt so wrong, it felt so right, i need some headboy tonight, i kiised matt grodon and i liekd it, i liked it!

rebecca a: (sings) im walking in the air, ive lost my underwear
jasmine m:(sings) rebecca has no hair down there

(talking about the cake we were baking)
rebeeca a: if i die in 20 mins check the things and turn it over.

jasmine m & joanna m: (sings) iv'e got yellow hair and i dont care!

sales man at stitch and sew: (selling programes [fake posh accent]) dont go home without one, put one on the bookshelf! dont go hoem without one, itl make a greaaaat christmas present!

(my brother, nick m, talking to his friend about miss fitzgerald)
mate: omg i hate miss unfitsgerald i hope she died n got hit by a car
nick m; you mean the car got hit by her
mate: i hope shes in hospital
nick m: u mean the cars in hospital


(patrick enters the classroom)
nick d: stand on one leg
patrick p: why?
nick d: do it!
mr paul: do as he says
patrick p: why
mr paul: coz i said so
patrick p: il do it if you say so but not him
mr paul: stand on one leg
(patrick stands on one leg)
nick d: now spin around
patrick p: no why
mr paul: just do it
patrick p: no
mr paul: do it or get out
patrick p: why
mr paul: im counting to 3
patrick: you wouldnt do that
mr paul: yes i wuld you just ruined my talk on repeated maesurements. 1...
patrick: im not doing it
Mr paul: you cant sit down until you do it. 2...
(patrick sits down)
Mr paul: ok get out!
patrick p: what no
mr paul: i said get out!
patrickp : (winy voice)but its christmas!
mr paul: im jewish what do i care!


Zoe s: jaz will u be comin home 2 ur mums?
Jasmine m: i am homeee but yes lol im not a whore
Zoe s:lol i fort u might stay wif ur dad or sumat lol
Becca a: lool
Zoe s:but in that case ill come back with u :)


Caroline m: yeah i got ugg boots and nick got drinks mats i thought that was fair
people: lol
nick mun: what are ugg boots
caroline m: you know the brown booots i have
nick m : ohh
owen b: nick man where ahve youu been??

mrs muhammed: ive tried tea bagging

tambers: right nick your question?
nick d: well actually its 2 questions

Jasmine m: you know surf and turf? in skins they said it meant sex
zoe s: theres a meal at the harvester called surf and turf
jasmine m: is it easy? do they give it to you on a plate?

Jasmine m and joanna m: (in food tech in yr 7 making scones)
(to the tune of the tide is high- atomic kitten)
mix the flour and the butterrrr
then you add the suuuugaaarrr
and if you really want you can add rat poo aswellllll
ITS FRESSSHHH FROM A RAT!

Jasmine m and Joanna m: (immature to pinky and the brain tune)
the yellow and the blue
the yellow and the blue
the yellow did a wee
the blue one did a poo
and the poo was blue
and the wee was like goo
the yellow, the yellow and the blue blue blue blue
blue blue blue blue, POO



Jasmine M: maybe shes pregnant
Canel K: no evven with the smallest thing, lool
Canel k: thats not funny
Jasmine m: and now she has to get married
Canel k:lol
Jasmine m:so they are together
Canel k: her thing is in a relationship not engaged
Jasmine m: one step at a time. they cant skip straight to it, think of the fuss
Canel k: no lol she jsut had her period like laast week so she wouldnt know now anyway lol
Jasmine m: unless she took a clear blue test... i swear u can test for pregnancy on those thinsg now like 3 weeks before you even have the sex which makes u pregnant

Jasmine m: ( about becca) sorry devin she only likes guys with curly afros.
Jack Tipping: Ah Lame


Nick m: The new perfume; Prada by Gucci

Jasmine m & jack g: ( to the tune of fergalicious)
mathalicious
and mr tuton rock rocks
and hell be pilling up the blocks
just to count what iv got

Welcome

Ok so here is my new blog. It's just full of quotes said by people in my life or things in my life that were funny, I may even post photos of funny things? Depends how I feel.

I have moved it here from Myspace because I am abandoning Myspace. It annoys me having to keep the blog on it, so voila!

My next blog will be all the quotes I have collected so far, so there will be alot to read. I could categorize it but that would take forever!

ENJOY MI AMIGOS!